Are you lonely this Christmas…..again?
Christmas is a season filled with motion. People are buying gifts, closing out work weeks, hoping for bonuses, and waiting on an imaginary Santa. Families rush through stores, scroll endlessly online, plan meals, and coordinate gatherings. Homes are busy with decorations, menus, schedules, and expectations. Parents are getting ready to attend Christmas concerts and for those of us who remember the real reason for the season, yes it is the time we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Everything feels loud, busy, and full.
Yet for many people, Christmas is also painfully quiet.
This season affects men and women differently. Many men may feel increased pressure to provide, to finish the year strong, to prove stability through output and income. Many women may feel pressure to create warmth, meaning, and perfection through food, decor, and family traditions. There is effort on all sides. Performance on all sides.
And in the middle of all that movement, there are people who feel deeply alone.
There are people who feel they failed this year. People who look back over the months and feel as though they have been weighed, measured, and found wanting. They replay decisions, relationships, finances, bodies, faith, and outcomes, and the verdict in their own mind feels heavy. There are those who just got divorced. Those who are single. Those without family nearby. Those estranged. Those grieving. Those still recovering from Hurricane Melissa. Those whose loneliness becomes episodic and hurts most during the holidays.
Last year, I posted this photo where I posed as multiple characters and wrote, “Merry christmas from my family to yours”. People laughed. It went viral. It was clever. It was lighthearted. It was received as humor. I was innocently mimicking the insta-picture perfect families who would always post family portraits online for Christmas.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours
Little did I know, that what was joke to me, was a saving grace to some. People have expressed how much my comedy has helped them through the roughest times. For this I am truly grateful to the Most High.
There is a reason suicide rates increase during the holidays and toward the new year.
If you are feeling lonely, take heart, you are not alone and it doesn’t have to define your life. Most things in life that affect us are really pivotal on our perspective and perception. If we perceive something to be grand, then the absence of it breeds pain. So by extension if we perceive the holidays to be a time when we should be with family and celebrating and having gifts, then the absence of it will cause us to feel inadequate. But…if we perceive it to not be a big deal…then there is no space to yearn for it.
So here are five ways you may navigate loneliness this Christmas:
Allow yourself to genuinely celebrate others who seem happy.
I dislike the habit of dismissing people’s joy by saying it is fake or just a highlight reel. While that may be true at times, cynicism does nothing to heal loneliness. Being able to rejoice with others is a sign of emotional maturity. Don’t hide from someone else’s amazing reality. Live vicariously and use it as a reminder that good things can happen in this world AND to you too babes!
Joy grows where joy is cultivated.
Scripture says in Proverbs 23 verse 7 that as a person thinks in their heart, so they become. That is not new age language. It is biblical truth. What you meditate on shapes your inner world.
When we sit in self pity, feeling forgotten by the world and by God, our vision narrows. Jesus speaks to this principle in Matthew 25 verse 29, where what is neglected diminishes. Joy is no different.
Celebrate others without resentment. Let their joy remind you that joy still exists.
Intentionally practice gratitude.
Someone is looking at your life right now wishing they had what you have. This exercise is simple but effective. Imagine viewing your life from the outside. Notice what you overlook. Safety. Shelter. Health. Opportunity. Access. Small comforts.
Gratitude does not erase pain, but it anchors you in reality. It reminds you that lack is not the full story.
Plan connection honestly.
Do something with someone, even if it is small. Even if they are not your first choice. Loneliness often deepens when we wait for perfect conditions or perfect people.
If you are truly an introvert and prefer solitude, honor that. Stay home. Watch a movie. Eat your favorite snack. Enjoy your space without guilt. But be honest with yourself.
Introversion and loneliness are not the same. True introverts enjoy sustained time alone. They are not avoiding connection because of sadness. If you are withdrawing because you feel low, name that truth. It matters.
Care for your environment and yourself.
Buy yourself a gift. Decorate your space. Light a candle. Wrap something. These acts are not shallow. They communicate worth to your body and mind. They say, I matter even when no one else is watching.
Environment affects mood more than we like to admit.
Loosen your grip on the significance of the day itself.
Many people say they do not care about Christmas, but often they do. Instead of forcing indifference, reframe time.
Time is continuous. December 25 is one day among many. Life keeps moving. Some people celebrate milestones on this date. You may celebrate something meaningful on another. This day is not the final verdict on your life, your worth, or your future.
And for those who believe in Christ, here is a final reflection.
Christmas is a time to remember the birth of Jesus and to give thanks to God for his faithfulness across time. It is a moment to pause, reflect, and acknowledge that life continues because God allows it to. Even when things feel unresolved, there is still purpose in the present moment.
Take time to reflect. Thank God for allowing you to see another day. Write. Sit. Be still.
A Christmas by yourself; is not a verdict on your life. It is not a scorecard on your year, your relationships, or your worth. It is a moment in time, not the conclusion of your story.
If this season feels quiet for you, let it be a place of reset rather than judgment. Let it remind you that your life is still unfolding and that hope is not confined to one date on the calendar.
This season will pass, and what is coming for you is brighter, fuller, and more alive than anything you are leaving behind! Merry Christmas!!
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Purchase my eBook "Unlock your Bible" 〰️
Unlock your Bible