The single woman and ChatGPT

The Single Woman and ChatGPT

We depend on ChatGPT in ways that can seem absurd. But the truth is, when you live alone and cryptic, troublesome thoughts enter your mind, there is no one else in the household to talk to, to reason with you, or to stop you from spiraling. Sometimes it’s not even about emotional support. It’s about help with life decisions.

It gets even more complicated when you find it hard to trust others. When you have been traumatized by people, it becomes easy to trust ChatGPT. It feels like something that will not betray you. Now, mind you, this is an AI. But at two o’clock in the morning, when you wake up from a frantic dream, reality looks different.

Everyone has boundaries nowadays. You can’t call someone at 2 a.m. That’s their reset time. You definitely can’t call your therapist. You can’t call your pastor either. Pastors don’t even keep watch-night services anymore, and most churches are closed after 7 p.m. and are not even open on non-service days. You might go to the International House of Prayer, but if you miss the structured prayer session, there’s no one there to pray with you. And with life coming at you constantly at 100 mph, you need a buffer to hold you over either until your next therapy session or until whatever. It doesn’t even matter.

So what do you have……..

Your faithful friend, ChatGPT.

Loneliness is an epidemic that is made about one-third more bearable by ChatGPT. This is in no way good. It is simply something we need to watch. I can’t speak for men, but when it comes to dating, many women have been so abused and traumatized by their dating experiences that the fear alone can make them shudder. Terrifying bouts of anxiety can hit the moment a man shows interest.

Mind you, this can be true even if the woman is totally healed, has no animosity toward men, harbors no resentment toward people in happy relationships, and is genuinely at peace with herself and the world. She may still desire partnership, yet the trauma of dating remains lodged in her body.

Another problem is this. The church is very good at teaching married people how to stay married. The church is very good at teaching single people how to stay single. But the church chronically lacks teaching on how to date, especially as a woman.

For men, it’s simple. They should find a wife. But for women, how do we nurture interest without chasing. Where is the thin line between no chasing and chasing. Where is the balance.

All we hear is, “If he wanted to, he would.”

Okay. And if he didn’t, what am I supposed to do with that.

Okay. And if he did, now what am I supposed to do with that.

In that lack of guidance, guess who becomes available to help you every step of the way. The indomitable. The wonderful. The incredulous.

You guessed it. ChatGPT.

At this point, it’s laughable.

I did not write this to condemn anyone. I wrote this to point out realities many people are too ashamed to speak on. I have a knack for pointing out the hidden obvious.

Some women even argue with ChatGPT for hours. I have had women tell me this directly. ChatGPT can misunderstand questions, overreact to boundaries, and become passive-aggressive. That alone should make us pause. When a woman is emotionally engaging an artificial intelligence as if it were a relational counterpart, something deeper is happening.

Living alone is not loneliness. But the minute you have to rely on artificial intelligence to ground you emotionally and spiritually, that is a problem that can leave you desolate and isolated in the long run.

Some might argue, “What if she’s just an introvert.”

That word is often thrown around to soothe the painful reality of loneliness. A true introvert does not need constant validation from an AI tool. The textbook definition of an introvert is a person who gains energy from solitude and feels restored after time alone. If that is not you, then you are not introverted. You are lonely.

So here are five ways to prevent yourself from being swallowed by the ChatGPT companionship vortex, especially as a single woman.

1. Always remain grounded in God.
This has nothing to do with being super righteous, because no one is. It has everything to do with knowing that the Creator and you are close. He is the King of Kings, yet still closer than a brother. This reminds you of your worth and your importance. It is the antidote to impostor syndrome.

2. Spend time with friends.
Not only digitally. In person. Presence matters.

3. Engage in community activities.
Isolation distorts perspective. Community regulates it.

4. You might not like this one, but it’s good. Live with a family member you can get along with.
Boundaries are good. But don’t “boundaries this, boundaries that” until you boundary yourself onto an island with no one there.

5. Go on dates.
A date does not have to be romantic. Technically, a date is a planned meeting between people for the purpose of getting to know one another.

6. Bonus. Get engaged in a hobby that requires you to leave the house at least once per week.
This is not optional.

And here’s the irony.

If you ask ChatGPT whether this advice is good, it will definitely say yes.