A prisoner of hope..

A prisoner of hope

This blog post is kinda special to me because I am preaching to myself. The title of this blog, “Prisoner of Hope,” represents a living paradox that has caused me significant distress over the years. You might think I mean this in a bad way. No. I mean this in a good way. I have always been praying for more faith, praying for breakthrough, praying to be seen, praying to be loved and accepted. For each of those prayers, I can distinctly remember times when I was severely disappointed because I was thinking those prayers went unanswered. I felt hopeless for 98 percent of my existence on this earth, filled with depression and might I say, a prisoner of hopelessness. Hopelessness wrapped its arms around me like the embrace of a loving mother or a guy you have a crush on. Only, there was nothing loving about it. Hopelessness permeated my mind day in and day out, every waking moment. Even when I am smiling, there would be pain that I cannot describe, lodged behind my heart somewhere secretly.

But for some reason, for some unknown force, I always keep going. If I fail at something, the next day or few days may knock me down. But once enough time passes, I am back up again, the way God would have it. It is at this moment that I realize I am not hopeless. I am not a prisoner of hopelessness. In fact, in a surprising twist, I am a prisoner of hope. Because what keeps me getting up each time? It is the undeniable, unrelenting tendency to, no matter what, get up and try again. Human beings have built-in resilience that runs on autopilot, just like the beat of our hearts and just like the breath we take. Only a person with a smidgen of hope can get back up again. Only a person who is thinking positively about the future can get back up again. Even if your positive thoughts are surrounded by a mosaic of cryptic, destructive, negative thoughts, that one positive shines right through it and makes you get back up. It causes you to continue in alignment with the word of God and with God’s plans for you.

In Zechariah 9:12 it says, “Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope. Even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.” This was in a time when Israel had been through destruction, exile, loss, betrayal, humiliation. God is speaking through the prophet, calling them back to Him as their stronghold, as their fortress. Now, the word prison might give a negative connotation because you might be thinking, why do I have to be imprisoned to have hope? But let’s look at the hidden yet glaring paradox of freedom that is embedded in being a prisoner of hope. It means that you are withheld with hope. It means you can’t override hope. It means hope will always surface within you. It means that no matter the hard times, no matter the battles you face, you have an automated system of hope that is deep down there in your sanctum sanctorum that operates on your side. You and your hope against the world. And even better, you, your hope, and Christ against the world. With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm.

Now back to Zechariah. God said return to your fortress. This means they must return to Him. Isn’t it always a great feeling that no matter what, God is always asking you to come back to Him. His door never closes. His love is unending and never fails. Can you imagine if God was vexy vexy and every time we made a mistake He gave us the silent treatment? Not at all. His disposition is always to call us back to Him. So in the midst of the turmoil Israel was facing, God is not saying, well you did these things against me so stay where you are. No. He said come and return to me. It’s almost like He’s begging. The creator of the universe is “begging” me and you to come back to Him.

The next part of the verse says “you prisoners of hope”. This part warms my heart because it signals to me that in the depth of distress, if I have just hope or faith as small as a mustard seed, just a little peephole of hope, then God will answer me. God will show up. Then it says, “Even now I will restore twice as much to you.” This indicates that not only is He calling us back to Him when we are in distress, but He is also ready, like Freddie, to bless us not just with what we had before, but twice as much. And you know that this might just be a metaphor. So when it says twice, it maybe means exceedingly more than you can imagine, so more than twice as much. It’s like when a Jamaican says “two likkle ting,” it’s anything but. So rest in the comfort that being a prisoner of hope is a good thing.

Some of us have gone through turmoil that is unspeakable: the collapse of a marriage, the friction of reinvention, the heaviness of mental battles, the uncertainty of switching careers, the weight of supporting yourself as an entrepreneur, the vulnerability of wanting love again, the grind of starting over, managing your kids and family. The options are endless. But amidst all that, you arise. Even better, your life has thrown real blows. Your path has looped through rebuilding, beginnings, and setbacks. Yet the hope in you keeps rising. That isn’t personality. That is God’s mark on you. He is for you, never against you.

And in the verse of Zechariah 9:12 where He says return to me, that’s His heart calling for you. God is saying to you today: stop running on your own strength. Stop strategizing out of fear. Stop interpreting your life through your wounds. Come back to me as your base of operations.

No matter what you have been through, today I encourage you to be a prisoner of hope, because that is where you experience the ultimate freedom. Freedom to live in God’s blessings. Freedom to be happy. Freedom to be content!